Last Sunday, my mother remarried. My father passed away two years and eleven months ago. The reality of my mother remarrying was not one easily grasped. No matter what I felt, though, it was going to happen.
And rightfully so; how many people lose their beloved spouses and then go on for years lonely and depressed? It might not happen immediately, but after years and years of being alone, there comes a time when a person might wish they had someone with them.
So my mother found a companion. He truly is a good man and is good to our family. Not only is he a good guy, but he's got a great family of his own. That was probably the thing I overlooked the most, is that I am not only technically gaining a step-father, but also gaining step-siblings.
My siblings and I have never discussed that. It wasn't until we were at the wedding when that technicality crept into my head. Fortunately, they are quality people. They have their own kids, all under the age of ten.
Another reality that I faced was that, provided my mother and her new husband continue in good health for the next twenty-six years, he will have been with my mother for as long as I knew my parents together. That continues to be a thought that I don't know how to handle. To add to that, his family will be in our family for at least that amount of time, and possibly longer if we become so close.
It turns out that I am fortunate. First, my mother found a good guy to share her life with. Second, this guy has his own good family. Third, my family gets along with her new husband. Fourth, our families get along together.
These things do not always fit together like puzzle pieces. I'm sure there are plenty of families who had resentment, who refused to accept another family. It is easy to see how people could reject such dramatic new beginnings. Fortunately, my siblings have been able to see the trees through the forest to understand what was at stake. First, it was our mother's happiness. Second, that we might eventually be happy, too. To be happy without our father has been difficult to grasp. As we go forward, we never have to forget him, but we can rest easier knowing that this situation, exactly as it has unfolded, is what our father would have wanted for our family.