Saturday, August 31, 2013

Tooth Fairy's new service

I think JD has really come up with something.

While we were cuddling in his bed at bedtime, he said, "Dad, I don't want you to go bald. If you start losing your hair, I will ask the Tooth Fairy to wave her magic wand and put your hair back on."

I know many men who would stuff a fistful of 100s under their pillow.

Displays of affection

JD touches a lot. His hand will be on me on the couch, his foot at the dinner table. It gets very annoying.

On the other hand, he's just showing me (well, us,) that he loves us.

JD is very good at showing how much he loves. He loves hugs. Loves them. And is good at it. He is warm. They are always extended. It is a cure-all.

He loves to cuddle. Tonight, I got him to brush his teeth by promising to cuddle for a little while (oh, darn.) So there we lay, his arm around my neck, my face in his side, his face just a few inches from mine. It was quiet and peaceful.

Why sometimes I leave messes

sometimes I leave messes from the kids toys because I think that they are going to have the same enthusiasm on their next encounter as they had with their last. But so often, the kids step right over those toys from last night, reach into drawers, and get out brand new toys and play almost on top of the old toys, sort of like how archaeologists find new sites.

part of my confusion is from the great sadness that came with parting with these toys at the end of the day for their bedtime routine.

Monday, August 26, 2013

Downtown Drunk

So I really feel like a fat-ass and a lush. Those of you who know me are either wondering, "Is he fishing for compliments?" or, "What survey in Wife's Us Weekly did you fail?"

First, what makes me think that I need to lose anything? My clothes and the scale. For the last few weeks, pants have been feeling a little tight. It reminded me of my friend who said that she and her freshman roommate blamed the laundry facility for shrinking their clothes until she went home for winter break and got a blunt earful from her mother. I couldn't blame the dryer because I hang all of my pants to dry. The evidence was more scientific: the scale at the gym said 213.

213! Holy shit!

Now, I'm 6'5" and that doesn't sound that bad, but that means that I've put on around 10 pounds over the summer. That's not fluctuation - that's fat.

The next evidence: my drinking tolerance.

It has been a fun summer. Lots of parties with lots of friends. One of my traits, however, is that I drink quickly. It doesn't matter if it's water, milk, beer, or bourbon. It all goes down fast. Then, I'm starting at 6 and drinking until midnight or later. Or, starting earlier. Let's take last Saturday, for example.

The Nelson Street Block Party. I am the Mayor of Nelson Street and have been organizing this thing since its inception and this is the third year. It started at 2. Maybe 2:30. That's when we got the keg of 312 that 1514 thought would be a good idea instead of a pony keg. I digress. So we start drinking at 2:30 and I probably had, conservatively, 2 drinks per hour for the first three hours. Then likely slowed to roughly one to one-and-a-half drinks per hour. Until midnight. That means that I can handle drinking 12-15 drinks. That is not necessarily a good thing.

So now we've got two problems. First, is that, calorically, Goose Island's "312" weighs in at 135 calories per 12-ounce beer. Times thirteen drinks, that's getting close to 2000 calories. Add in the junk food at these things (good junk food) and who knows how many calories. The second problem is that this is not the first night I have had such a bender in the last couple of months. That puts me into borderline alcoholic territory and that's not good.

There are a few kinds of alcoholics. I will reference two. There is the alcoholic who needs a couple of shots of Jack Daniel's in the morning to get going and supplements throughout the day. Then there is the binge drinking alcoholic who, when Friday night rolls around, has a hard time putting the glass down or turning drinks down.

The good news is, I don't tend to make a tremendous fool of myself (anymore.) The bad news is, that makes it easier to rationalize. Just having a good time!

So, the near-future plan is to not drink for a couple of weeks. There is no specific time-table, but just enough time to get my caloric intake in check and to get out of the habit of drinking heavily.

On the other side, my eating habits. In general, I am pretty healthy. However, I sometimes eat at night. Those extra 300-600 calories at night add up. Additionally, take note of my portions. Altogether, that should add up to a solid routine.

Finally, more exercise. With school starting today, I will be running a couple of miles per day and walking more. Hockey season starts soon and that can burn 900 calories in a game. Finally, I remember from Sophomore football that the coaches had us do 50-50-10 every day before practice: 50 push-ups, 50 sit-ups, 10 pull-ups. I can't do one pull-up, but I can get 50 push-ups and sit-ups throughout the course of the day and work up to getting them done at one time with rest.

Confronting the problem is the beginning. Stay tuned.

Back to School!

First day of school for Bunny and JD. Got up, got ready, got to school.

Bunny was up early, JD had to be rolled out of bed, literally. I was up at 5:58, just ahead of my alarm. It took me a minute to figure out what time it was. I knew it was after 5 because Wife was not in bed. Listening, it sounded like the exhaust fan in the bathroom was going, meaning it was between 5 and 5:30. After all of this deep thinking, my alarm began to chime.


I realized that the sound was the return vent on the wall above and behind my bed, evacuating as much warm air as possible.

Up! I told myself. Attack the day!

That is my new mantra: Attack the day!

Every unproductive day begins with an unproductive awakening. Lay there, turn on the TV to, "See what's going on in the world." That leads to staring at something interesting but unimportant to my life, and, more to the point, unproductive to my morning.

Up! Get dressed! Oh, my underwear is in the dryer. Just then, I heard something from the next bedroom. Worried that Bunny would fall out of bed (again,) I peeked in. Little eyes peeked back.


The last thing you want when you get up early to get a bunch of stuff done is a child on your hip. Slows you down by 50%. Why? First, Bunny is not as fast as me. She can't climb stairs as fast and then asks for a hand. Second, she wants to talk. Third, she wants breakfast. These are not bad things. Not misbehavior. Just a drag.

So we got laundry going, then lunch, then breakfast.

As I have written, the most important thing to do in the morning is finish the things that have to be done to walk out the door. Everything else comes after. 

By 6:45, I was well on my way and it was time to get JD. He was not up and didn't want to get up. And, I found out by poking at him, that he had an accident. Not a big deal, just another thing to do today; another load of laundry. As he fought the act of getting out of bed (he was finally awake,) I gathered the corners of the sheet and mattress protector and pulled it all out of bed. Thud.

Get up, get dressed. I threw some clothes at him, took his wet clothes, wrapped them in the wet bedding, and headed downstairs.

The rest of the morning was unremarkable. JD actually ate at a good pace (it has taken him 45 minutes to eat two pancakes. Thanks, Autism.) Teeth brushed. Hair brushed. Backpack packed with lunch, water, and afternoon snack. School supplies. Out the door.

Here's the tricky part: Bunny's preschool is technically through JD's elementary school but they don't have enough room. So, for the last three years, it has been at a different, still local, elementary school who did have the space. It had always started after elementary school, making drop-off easier.

This year, elementary drop-off is after preschool, so there is no time to sit with Bunny and help her out. This was especially good today, as I didn't have an anxiety-ridden, crying, clinging three-year-old. Bunny is a big-girl four-year-old. She walked in, took her first-day picture, gave me a hug, and JD and I were off.

I should back up. Bunny's school is about 3/4 of a mile away. We pass JD's school on the way, which is only one block. So, we have to leave at 7:50 to be on time. Today, to be safe, we walked out the door at 7:40am. I am not foolish enough to think that this ideal timing will ever happen again. The kids hopped into the jogging stroller and we arrived at school well ahead of the 8:00am start time.

First day of preschool drop-off is complicated by taking pictures. Other days, it is complicated by the kids signing their names every day. Fortunately, Bunny can write her name just fine, so I will be able to kiss-and-go.

Then, we ran to JD's school. According to RunKeeper, Bunny's school was 0.70 mile from our house. JD's school was 0.60 from Bunny's. Plenty of time for me to get there in the seven minutes. Again, Bunny's started at 8. JD's lines up at 8:13am.

Arrived in time to line him up, go over some expectations of the day, get a few pictures, and watch him walk inside.

Will continue to report on how this develops.