Friday, May 18, 2007

Great Feats in Bodily Functions

One night, my in-laws were at our condo. Our son's diaper felt full, so I went to change him. Sure enough, he had done plenty of #1 and a bit of #2. I removed his diaper and began to clean him. For once, I had forgotten to get a diaper ready for replacement before I started changing him. Just as I bent over to get another diaper, I heard his butt explode. I moved faster, but not fast enough. Not only did he start pooping, but he projectile pooped. It went out his rear, on a green line over his crib railing, into the crib. I could only laugh. How proud I was to have such a gifted son.

Our friends were scheduled to have a baby in mid-April. We brought our son to their house two weeks before their due date for a visit. That time in pregnancy is like being on house arrest. Anyhow, cocktails and appetizers, the usual. Then, an odor came from our son. I asked where would be a good place to change him and they suggested I use their new changing table. I couldn't say no, as some of you know how your back and knees hurt from floor changing. Carrying him into the room, his back felt sweaty. I made nothing of it. Upon unbuttoning his outfit, I found it was not sweat; his movement had escaped the confines of his diaper up his back. It was on the outfit and on his back, and soon enough it was on their new changing table! We broke the nursery in in style.

He hasn't needed to be burped post-feeding for some time. Upon completion of a bottle, I sit him or stand him up and he'll let out a nice belch if needed. After feeding him the other day, he stood up on my lap. He was facing away from me when he let out a loud burp. Not just baby loud, but the kind of burp where at a crowded bar, the music screeches to a halt, the bus boy drops his dishes, and the whole room stares. I could tell something had come up with the noise, as there was a bit of tan sludge on my jeans. I turned him to face me and found out that he'd spit up considerably in that burp. Not only was it on my jeans, but also on his pajamas, and on his chin. I looked at the mess in that order, finally coming to rest my eyes on his face. His eyes were lit up and he was laughing, so proud of the mess he'd just made! I couldn't help but laugh. I looked for my phone to take a picture, but it wasn't around and the moment was gone.

Some images are best kept in the memory banks.

1 comment:

  1. hehe, you are officially in parenthood. You know you hit it when every conversation starts with puke or poop. Just wait- solids are even better. The colors and smells.