I just got off the phone with a friend. We were on for over an hour. Over that time, we were able to share some of our personal current events. Most of it was bad stuff, things that haven't been so great lately.
This blog entry is to tell you 1) how good it felt to talk to someone, to have them confide in me and to confide in her and 2) to be able to do so with a person I know I can trust.
I can trust and confide in Wife, but I can't talk about her with her! (I love you Honeys).
It's better than therapy because you get to hear about their good and bad as well as share your own. Not everyone has such a person. I believe that is because so many people are afraid of sharing themselves; sharing their bad as well as their good.
Being an at-home parent is very lonely. The best part of the job is the job security - there is no threat of being fired. Otherwise, it is as grueling a workday as any other job (if you're dedicated) and with very little peer contact.
Having a person with whom you can talk on a deep level every now and again is imperative.
And not a person with whom you gossip or be caddy. Those friends have their purpose. But think about it: if that person's nature is to gossip or to be caddy, do you really want to share seriously personal issues? Perhaps you do have a person that can be both, but . . .
So find a friend. Not a person on whom you can spill all of your problems. If you sense that something is wrong, you'll ask. For instance, you ask, "How are you?" and you are looking at them and they say, "Oh, fine," but you know they're not fine, you ask what's going on. And then you shut up. You only say oh or jeez or I see. And when you're the one with the bad day, they'll know when and how to ask you and how to listen.
Hopefully you can find one, because no matter how bad things are, you'll feel a little better after you're done.