New Territory - Bathing a Baby Girl

Part of JD and my routine is to take a shower in the morning. It came about because he didn't transition from being bathed in a sink to a full-sized bathtub. I had purchased a stool for my wife to ease leg-shaving, as our shower is a stall, not inside a bathtub. JD stands on that stool and plays with tub paint (thanks Jay-Jay!)

I am able to wash myself first, then I turn to JD. He's generally a willing participant and doesn't mind the water coming down on him. He's even learned to enjoy it; I spy him with his back to the water, holding still with his head turned down slightly, letting the water hit his back.

JD gets washed as thoroughly as I wash myself, including his private parts. Penises and anuses need washing, too. Especially when they're subjected to sitting in their own excrement and feces for any length of time. Plus, crumbs, milk, and soup get down in there. Don't ask me how. It's no big deal, I just wash him as I would wash myself.

But now I'm going to have a daughter. Say what you will, but it's different. Frankly speaking, I don't have a vagina. I have only dealt with the vagina in a more intimate manner.

It's not that I fear it or anything, it's just an unknown. I've had plenty of practice on myself. Do I ask my wife to practice on her?

There are always unknowns when beginning something new. This is my new territory. Women probably have the same questions that men do in this respect. From a male's point of view, washing the penis seems rather simple - just don't get soap down the tip; it hurts. But for a woman, it's all inside, but some parts are more inside than others.

As usual, I'll talk to my wife, to playgroup moms, and read a book or two.

Then I'll get to the task and figure it out for myself.

The Coolest Guy in His World

My wife said something quite special to me today. She said, “What's it like having someone think you're the coolest guy in the world?”

That was certainly a great compliment to me, that my son thinks so highly of me.

Maybe she's right. I'm not trying to appear modest; I simply don't think about my status in my son's eyes. As long as he loves and respects me, all is good in the world. Eating my cooking is nice, too.

The truth is, he does emulate my actions. He always wants to be with me. He is sad to see me leave and happy to see me return. He is angry when I have to divert attention from him at any time during the day (unless he's watching Yo Gabba Gabba. Since I'm a bleeding-heart hippie libertarian, I don't let the TV babysit.)

I can't make a pot of soup without him hitting my hip or butt to gain my attention.

We can make each other laugh and cry. If I wasn't so concerned with keeping a certain distance, I would say that we're best friends.

But that's how best friends think of each other. I also think he's the best kid in the world (like most parents). Does he drive me crazy with his stubbornness and his insanity? All the time. Do I make him crazy driving all over the place to go shopping every other day? I'm sure.

In spite of these exceptions we are grateful to have one another. We play hockey almost every day, if not every day. His new thing is asking me to play Wii – and he just sits and watches me play. He gets pissed when I say it's time to turn it off! (And I want to keep playing, but know the better of it.) We eat together at home and in restaurants.

I receive consistent compliments about him and consider that a success of our parenting.

To be the coolest guy in the world? It's the fruit of waking up in the morning.

Time Management

There is not enough time in the day. Hard choices have to be made regarding time management.

It is time to stop going to the bathroom. That's right, I've given up peeing.

I made this decision about five minutes ago as I was unloading my dishwasher. I was thinking, man it's been a while since I wrote a blog. Then I realized that I had just been at my computer for 90 minutes reading. Auditing my bank statements, setting up recurring payments to avoid banking charges, reading and deleting email, reading about the Libertarian Party's ideas on current events, reading ways to conserve energy (unplug everything that's not in use,) and responding to Facebook status updates.

How can I do all of that and keep my house clean and poop? I say it can't be done.

So to the forces of nature, I've felt pressure before. Give it all you've got. Because I'm on a crusade to make the most of my time.

Consider the benefits: no more toilet paper. Reduced electric bill because I don't have to run the exhaust fan. Reduced water waste. Reduced pollution. I can even get another 2-300 square feet by knocking down the bathrooms. Oh, that won't work because I still need to shower. Can't cut that out. That would be disgusting.

Sports Authority Customer Service Continues...

Just a quick update; this is the email I received in response  to my email.
I will continue to update as news breaks.


Dear Marc,


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ensure your product/service needs are met.

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